Postal Letter

Is this sentence grammatically correct?

--------------------- But luckily the pilot suggested to use his account to ship the donation via Fedex, it seems that pilots have a special rate if they send luggage or other kinds of shipments via freight forwarders like Fedex or DHL. Because the freight itself will be loaded into the plane they are flying themselves. After this has been arranged PUM in Jakarta was then notified to take care of this precious cargo.

Public Comments

1. No. But luckily, the pilot suggested to use his account to ship the donation via Fedex; it seems that pilots have a special rate if they send luggage or other kinds of shipments via freight forwarders like Fedex or DHL. Because the freight itself will be loaded into the plane, they are flying themselves. After this has been arranged, PUM in Jakarta was then notified to take care of this precious cargo.
2. But luckily the pilot thought to use his Fed Ex account to ship the donation. As it happens, pilots have a special rate to ship luggage or other parcels via freight forwarders like Fedex or DHL, because the freight will be loaded onto the planes they are flying themselves. After this had been arranged, PUM in Jakarta was then notified to take care of this precious cargo.
3. "But" is a conjunction, not an appropriate start to a sentence. Luckily, the pilot suggested they ship the donation via his Fedex account. (Pilots have a special rate if they send luggage or other shipments via freight forwards, such as Fedex or DHL, because the freight will be loaded on the plane they are flying themselves.) After arranging to carry the donation on his own plane, Jakarta was notified to carry his precious cargo The paragraph was hard to follow, so if I lost some of your meaning, I apologize.