Postal Letter

... Lying ... continued?

(we live 100 miles from each other - but I hoped he could get someone to bring him to me - he said it'd be too difficult). At one point I got a bit upset, and textd him jokily saying (rather childishly!) 'Perhaps this woman has a better nurse's uniform than me...!' He got v. annoyed and textd back 'she's 67 and 18 stone! - I felt duly chastened, n told him I'd write, so he gave me ... his ex's address, and her first name - no surname. Well, I knew it was his postal address, so didnt know what to think. A few months later I finally confronted him about the postal address, he denied it til I said I knew, then admitted it, saying 'I didnt want to hurt you'. I askd if he'd stayed with her after the hospital, he said irritably, 'no, no', it was friends of my parents'. Finally (there were some other issues too), after trying to talk (he just got angry) I dumped him. Ive just emailed him n finally found out he did stay with her. Was I wrong or not? What wd you do? thx x Thanks everyone for your input - however, I'm new to these boards, and it seems the first part of my question has posted on 'Marriage & Divorce', so it must have been a bit confusing! Your thoughts are helping immensely, because I had got to a point of thinking I had a real paranoia problem, I needed some other input besides his. Incidentally, the reason I am so upset is that this was a serious relationship, I thought, and he led me to believe, that we were in for the 'long haul'. I only left because I literally did not know what else to do, and even now I can't accept it's over. I hope the pain goes away eventually. Thank you all.

Public Comments

1. get rid of him.tell him how hurt you are that he would lie to you... trust is the ground in any relationship.
2. Oh, jeez, find someone else. what a lot of wasted effort for a blackguard and a phony-wanna waste more time or find someone who doesn't have his dick in multiple areas of the country...?
3. I think I've already posted a reply to this question on a previous page. You are well rid of him if you ask me,he has lied on more than one occasion regarding this matter,his marriage may be legally over but the relationship with his ex wife certainly isn't,I'd bet money on that. Move on and try to put him out of your mind,it would never work out for you both long term by the sounds of it. And remember,he was with his wife for many many years,and it does sound like it's not truly over,divorced yes,but not over.
4. In your heart you already know the answer to your question. You just need confirmation? He lied, you suspected it and you were right. How were you wrong for not accepting his lies? We can choose to accept or not to accept. We make decisions or choices that shape our lives. Why choose a lie? Furthermore find a man worthy of you, ALL of you. God Bless
5. 1) Stop obsessing 2) Cut contact with him and move on